I’ve been driving back and forth from you.
My mind a beehive
swarming with thoughts.
And I don’t think to come back.
I don’t stay to bare the silence anymore.
I don’t stay to wait
to wait…
and wait.
And I don’t stay to hear you sigh,
knowing you don’t know what to say
what to think about
what to do.
And I don’t stay.
I don’t stay.
I leave.
I leave and I run because my tongue
is on fire
I’ll spit flames any minute.
Women like me can’t be tamed…
My heart aches
my soul longing for yours
but you stay quiet.
So I run.
This person
This woman
This Brown woman
This Latina
This woman of color
has seen this too many times.
A man. No words. Empty.
And a woman who holds her tongue
a women who does not lash out
with roaring words.
I have seen this too many times…
from my mother
my grandmother
my aunts
and all the woke brown woman in my life
who were taught
to stay.
Women who bite their tongues
because their words are just words to their loves.
Because women who do spit their fire
And believe me,
they cause flames like the Earth’s sun
And cause galaxies to collide…
The pain, the hurt and still
nothing.
Nothing from men who “claim”
they love them.
Silent nights, silent lives
There can be an earthquake of words exchanged and their loves will not budge.
But they stay.
They stay because feeling something
anything
was better than feeling
nothing.
Nothing at all.
But my fire, my hearts desire and chingona
attitude and my woke self will not stand for this.
No more
not any minute more
not me.
And so I leave
I leave and drive into the night.
I blast the music and sing to the top of my
lungs because I feel liberated.
I am free.
The moon high up in the night sky
gives me light
gives me energy.
To be who I am.
The woke Brown woman in me will
not stay for quiet conversations
To meaningless words and
nothingness.
And so I run.
You fear women like me.
Women you don’t know how to love,
how to touch,
where to kiss.
To women who will not bite their tongues
because the fire within them
Bursts from their Brown souls.
To women who run
who leave.
To women who slam the door behind them as
you pretend que la vida is okay.
But baby let me tell you,
These woke Brown women will not stay.
They will run.
Run with the wolves
because life needs meaning.
There is more than just empty words rolling down men’s tongues.
Words that need to clash with other words to make sense of la vida.
A strong woman like me,
will not take shit.
My fierce self and words can wound you
Once I spit my fire,
I will slip through your fingers
and run.
Run for myself because my heart cannot stay
with men who don’t know.
Who don’t know a woke Brown woman who loves fiercely.
Women who love hard
Women with attitude. And so I go. I run.
I will run for my mother
Run for my grandmother
Run for all the women who stayed
and were taught to stay…
I will run
like the rest of the woke Brown chingona women.

Advertisements